Very Necessary.
Sir Lucious Left Foot.
Shutterbug.
Off the Son of Chico Dusty.
From Daddy Fat Sacks himself:
"It's basically a cut that's all about capturing the moment, whether it be your kid's first steps or you got a Polaroid and you with your lady somewhere...It's about capturing the moment and getting them good times. When you look at certain photos, it takes you back to the moment, and that's what it's about. It's a funky, get-down, slap-your-sister-in-the-mouth jam."
True Southernplayalisticadillacstory.
To be continued once we regain consciousness...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Jerseys, anyone?
We've wasted over an hour on this site...and have some astute observations on what has to be the best spectacle of jersey-porn the world has seen since, well, the 2006 World Cup. Some random, off-the-wall, at times probably offensive, analysis:
U-S-A....U-S-A...
First thing's first. No jersey has been as widely debated in a very long time. Some people love it, some people think its as awful as Killers.
Our favorite quote comes from SMC's former Commander In Chief: "The U.S. away jerseys make them look like they just won a pageant."
Spain
An absolutely untouchable jersey. Screams "Don't f%$ck with me!" Or in the words of I-Biz: "Spain's jerseys literally look like they will come off of the racks and kick your ass. Like every evil team in an 80s movie." Speaking of 80's movie villains, notice a trend with Espana?
Argentina
Classic jersey. Led to this exchange:
C-Biz: Dude, I always love the Argentina stripes.
Young Albatross: I don't know, its a bit Messi.
ZIIIIIING!
Germany
Probably the biggest, meanest, angriest sounding (lets face it, the German language doesn't sound understated) group of football players NEED awesome, intimidating black jerseys. Its science.
Ivory Coast
C-Biz's favorite jersey. Love the orange/green combo, love the subtle elephant design on the top left (Puma did similar wonders with Algeria's Desert Fox design) love pretty much everything about it, besides the $105 price tag. One thing we wonder, however. Do you think they will sell the Drogba orange and green arm-cast too?
New Zealand
What the hell? Out of the 32 teams, New Zealand's threads have to be the undisputed champion of suck. As if their chances on the field weren't dreadful enough, they are stuck wearing these for the 3 games they have to show up to. We can't even come up with a good Lord of The Rings OR Flight of the Conchords joke for this. Young Albatross has another issue with these rags: "Were they trying to steal Canada's thunder with the singular nonthreatening floral logo?"
Slovenia
Basically, this is what it would look like if Charlie Brown became a meth-addict and was subsequently put in charge of Slovenia's jersey design team. Right Sasha?
Algeria
A little different than the Desert Fox home jerseys. Young Alby says "pea soup vomit" green. We say "post-Gatorade-binge stool sample" green. What do you think?
Democratic People's Republic of Korea (aka North Dictatorship)
...............................
Wait, no jersey has been released yet? Oh, ok.
Oh Kim Jong, you silly goose:
Vendors Leave No Shirt Unturned Seeking North Korean Soccer Duds
Ok, so the WSJ has answered that question. That won't stop us from picking up our DPRK onesies!
True Story.
U-S-A....U-S-A...
First thing's first. No jersey has been as widely debated in a very long time. Some people love it, some people think its as awful as Killers.
Our favorite quote comes from SMC's former Commander In Chief: "The U.S. away jerseys make them look like they just won a pageant."
Spain
An absolutely untouchable jersey. Screams "Don't f%$ck with me!" Or in the words of I-Biz: "Spain's jerseys literally look like they will come off of the racks and kick your ass. Like every evil team in an 80s movie." Speaking of 80's movie villains, notice a trend with Espana?
Argentina
Classic jersey. Led to this exchange:
C-Biz: Dude, I always love the Argentina stripes.
Young Albatross: I don't know, its a bit Messi.
ZIIIIIING!
Germany
Probably the biggest, meanest, angriest sounding (lets face it, the German language doesn't sound understated) group of football players NEED awesome, intimidating black jerseys. Its science.
Ivory Coast
C-Biz's favorite jersey. Love the orange/green combo, love the subtle elephant design on the top left (Puma did similar wonders with Algeria's Desert Fox design) love pretty much everything about it, besides the $105 price tag. One thing we wonder, however. Do you think they will sell the Drogba orange and green arm-cast too?
New Zealand
What the hell? Out of the 32 teams, New Zealand's threads have to be the undisputed champion of suck. As if their chances on the field weren't dreadful enough, they are stuck wearing these for the 3 games they have to show up to. We can't even come up with a good Lord of The Rings OR Flight of the Conchords joke for this. Young Albatross has another issue with these rags: "Were they trying to steal Canada's thunder with the singular nonthreatening floral logo?"
Slovenia
Basically, this is what it would look like if Charlie Brown became a meth-addict and was subsequently put in charge of Slovenia's jersey design team. Right Sasha?
Algeria
A little different than the Desert Fox home jerseys. Young Alby says "pea soup vomit" green. We say "post-Gatorade-binge stool sample" green. What do you think?
Democratic People's Republic of Korea (aka North Dictatorship)
...............................
Wait, no jersey has been released yet? Oh, ok.
Oh Kim Jong, you silly goose:
Vendors Leave No Shirt Unturned Seeking North Korean Soccer Duds
Ok, so the WSJ has answered that question. That won't stop us from picking up our DPRK onesies!
True Story.
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