Saturday, March 28, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

Virtual Video Insanity

So we were perusing the Manofest Videos/Top-10s lately (and if you haven't checked out their ridiculous compilations of Top YouTube videos, then a pox on you and your Internet.)

Here's some that we can't get enough of:

One of Just Razor Ramon who, um, apparently scars hearts AND souls :



From the Top-10 "Greatest Old-School WWF Promos of All-Time":

Macho Man Randy Savage doing Sweet Macho Man Things:


The always classic "Tell us how you REALLY feel" Booker-T clip:
(Editor's Note: NSFW, and a hysterical reaction when Booker-T lets it fly)



And really, as ridiculous as that last clip was, this one....can only be experienced.
(EN: How bad is it when even the people employing you to look/act ridiculous think you've crossed the line into insanity?)


How about some Top-10 Most Embarrassing Before-They-Were-Famous Celebrity Commercials?

Like Seth Green...and...uh..his hair?

(EN: Damnit Seth. We know you're not stranger to strange hair as seen in Airborne, & frankly as we look back, this scene becomes more and more disturbing)

Or how about some Top-10 "Funniest Freudian Slips in TV History"?



Ohhh Fox News, you and your antics.

Other videos that we need to share, obviously:
We seriously have watched this about 300 times today, and it gets better 60% of the time, everytime:



Or



Um...so how do you confuse the two? Award winning journalists, people!


Throwback Joint:
The Count before he gets Edited for TV


Skateboard P losing his mind @ MacDo's:


Wow:


Oh, so true:


Best of Luck getting this out of your head, America:


Ahh....what the hell, why not:


True Jamiroquai.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Flashback to the summer......


....so yeah, remember the 2008 Olympics in China? We do. We also remember feeling slightly (only slightly) uncomfortable watching the gymnastics portion. Keep in mind, it was watched every night, but should we feel awkward for watching it so diligently because of two cute (and too young) girls named Nastia and Shawn? Welllllll welcome to the dilemma of adult males during the entire Beijing olympics!!!

If you thought you should be guilty, and yes we are talking to YOU, America: you can now feel a little less creepy. Alas, ESPN.com provides us with this gem of a story we feel is a couple of months overdue. Lets move to the text here:

Prosecutors charged a man Thursday with stalking "Dancing With the Stars" contestant Shawn Johnson, saying he drove from Florida in a car found with loaded guns, duct tape and love letters to meet the 17-year-old Olympic gymnast.

Ummmmm, OK. Yeah so you drive from FLA to CA with those items in your car, and you're not expecting to be charged with stalking? Reminds us of this classic. Thank you, Robert O'Ryan, for providing everybody with that laugher for the day.

A restraining order requested by Johnson's parents said she was "in fear of her life" and was issued Wednesday against O'Ryan.

Yikes, well that sure makes us feel better about our creepy Beijing tendencies.


True 4 Years In Prison.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

Listen, we know, we know....we need to step up our game.


It's been a full week since the last post, coincidentally on (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays.

However, our mind has been completely broken for a week.

Let us explain...

We WERE going to come out firing today, showcasing some Jim Jones with the official Na Na NaNa Na Na video...but then, THIS happened...

Straight out the Benwheezy F. Baby Archives, DEFINITELY not safe for work:

Riskay ft Aviance
"Smell Yo D$%#"

(Editor's Note: No...really...this exists...dead-ass serious, myspace and everything"





Worst part is...it sounds scaringly (and ironically) close to a slowed version of "Perfect Gentlemen"

Damn 'Clef, Damn.

True WTF?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

No initial video, just ridiculous beats

Editor's Note: effing YouTube, embedding disabled)

Classic cut from 2000's own The Dynasty: Roc La Familia

Behold, 1-900-Hustla

Jay-Z, Beanie Sigel, Memphis Bleek & Freeway at their finest

However America, since we know you enjoy moving pictures strung together in sequence along with music supposedly backing up those images on (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays....we'll just throw some more Roc at all-a-ya'll

Here's the recently-signed Jadakiss with the first and second singles off of "The Last Kiss"

By My Side


Can't Stop Me


True R-O-C!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Where the hell was this guy

Last time we took Southwest?





Ps....look at the dude throw up the Dubs at 2:15

Necessary? Of course.

In fact we not only condone, but recommend that sort of behavior.

Oh yeah, and while we're at it....best science fair concept ever?

You Decide, America.

True Story.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Um...

...What?



Wait....really?

Bon Jovi? BB? Weis?

Only in NYC where on March 12, 2009 Weis and his daughter's foundation (Hannah & Friends, a charity that Weis and his wife started to provide support for children with developmental disabilities) had their St. Patrick's Day Gala with BB among other guests, headlined of course a live performance by Jon Bon Jovi


SO good, especially for a good cause.

We aren't sure what's better, the clapping in unison



or BB playing coy while Weis tries to pump up the crowd



See, we mention this because good ol' Willy B and Bon Jovi are good buddies. Don't believe us? ShoNuff, BB hit the road with Bon Jovi back in the day:

"A surprising element to Belichick is his friendship with rock artist Jon Bon Jovi, whose music he piped into practice so regularly that players pushed for a change in tunes, a wish he reluctantly granted.

'I've traveled with him in Paris and Ireland,' Belichick said of Bon Jovi. 'He likes pro football. I like music."


Clearly Billy B knows how to party.

They continue their bromance to this day. So good of friends in fact that Bon Jovi even dedicated their song "Bounce" to The Hoody, so says one JBJ:

"Bill Belichick is a HUGE rock 'n' roll fan and if he wasn't head coach of the Super Bowl champs, I'd bet he'd be a drummer in a rock band. (I'm sure his wife's very happy he knows defense!) In fact, the song "Bounce" on our new album is dedicated to Bill."


True New Jersey?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Radiohead doesn't watch the Disney Channel.

A great little piece of pop-culture news that we recently found for everyone today. For those of you who don't know, one of our favorite bands, Radiohead, played the 2009 Grammys with the USC marching band:



Sweet, right? Well anyway, we/you aren't the only ones who are fans of their work and would have liked to see that live. According to this article, Hannah Montana is pretty pissed off. If that wasn't funny enough, let us just highlight this certain paragraph:

"I left 'cause I was so upset," she said. "I wasn't going to watch. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm gonna ruin them, I'm going to tell everyone."

The three-time Grammy winners responded by putting the teen in her place…

"When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement," the quintet said in a statement.


Even (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesday veteran Kanye West has beef:

During the taping for his episode of VH1's Storytellers, West complained that Yorke snubbed him as well.

"When he performed at the Grammys, I sat the f--k down," the rapper said.


Hahaha. Wow. Talk about making some diverse crowds mad. Good work Thom. Apparently they don't appreciate either 808's or crappy Disney-pop over in England. I'm not sure Hannah will succeed in "ruining" one of the most popular bands in the world. Our analytical response: Do you think anyone else has ever said no to anything Miley Cirus has requested in her entire life? They broke her Achy Breaky Heart (too easy).



So in conclusion, here is the rant for all of you to hear for yourselves, with some South Park footage to spice it up a little bit. Kudos to whoever did this:



True Miley.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Drew Kiper Jr. Index



(Editor's Note: Drew Kiper picked the Cardinals to win the Super Bowl.)

Sorry to all of you True Story Readers who had to deal with my insufferable employer's picks the last few months. However, I am pleased to announce (or regret to inform you) that Drew Kiper Jr is back from an extended vacation.

With the Super Bowl over (my only regret is that I didn’t bet on the numbers I had. . . .would’ve made a killing), my favorite time of the year nears: Draft Weekend! Therefore, Drew Kipe will be giving you a lowdown on everything happening and hopefully a few semi-accurate mocks.

A team’s Head Coach can alter their draft philosophy greatly. And with 11 new head coaches in the league this year, I figured I should give you the low down on the new men at the helm, in comparison to the coach they are replacing. This year promises to give you as many Jim Harbaughs and Tony Sparanos as Rod Marinellis and Bobby Petrinos. And without further adieu:

San Francisco 49ers: Out: Mike Nolan, In: Mike Singletary – Mike came as a bright, defensive mind that was supposed to give toughness to a team lacking an identity. Unfortunately that statement is true for both coaches; however, Singletary is already proving that he will do whatever it takes to motivate his players to win. The key will be if Singletary can get more from his defense, especially his young LBs (Willis, Brooks, Lawson, Green, and Haralson). All were highly touted in the draft and only Willis has come close to meeting expectations. The talent is there, except for in two places: QB (the most important position on offense) and NT (the most important position in a 3-4 defense). If Singletary wants any success in his first season, he’ll have to fix this.

Grade: A

Seattle Seahawks: Out: Mike Holmgren, In: Jim Mora Jr – This was the year that legends will be replaced with 3 Hall of Fame coaches leaving the game (the verdict is still out on Jon Gruden). Also, it was a year where two coaches were already hired for this upcoming season before last season began. Jim Mora is one of the few head coaches getting a second go-around. Nowadays, teams want bright young minds in hopes of hitting it big with a potential stabilizer for years to come. Jim Mora Jr, son of infamous Colts Head Coach Jim Mora, finally has his dream job of coaching in Seattle (remember he was fired from Atl for saying he wanted to coach at the University of Washington). Mora does have a career winning percentage over .500, but just barely (.542) and his final two seasons in Atlanta were very disappointing. Personally, I don’t know if he has anything left and an aging and untalented roster isn’t helping his case. There were/are better options out there (last year and this year). However, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the ‘hawks actually win some games this year and pull out a near 8-8 record

Grade: C-

St Louis Rams: Out: Scott Linehan, In: Steve Spagnuola – Scott Linehan came to the Rams as a bright offensive coordinator that had major success everywhere he went. He just wasn’t head coach material. Spags is a tough edge coach that relies on fierce play and pressure blitzing schemes. In other words, he is head coach material. Whereas I don’t think he’ll be a Hall of Famer, he will definitely bring everything that the Rams need and should improve their defense right away.

Grade: A-

Detroit Lions: Out: Rod Marinelli, In: Jim Schwartz
– Rod Marinelli came as a strict tough d-line coach from Tampa. However, nothing was gonna save him or Detroit last year. Marinelli was a good coach but at times appeared worn down (who came blame him?). Unless the roster has a major overhall, Jim Schwartz will be the same way in two years. Out of the entire roster, I’d only want Ernie Sims and Calvin ‘Megatron’ Johnson on my roster.

Grade: Doesn’t Matter

Tampa Bay Bucs: Out: Jon Gruden, In: Raheem Morris – This is the one firing that doesn’t make much sense to me. Gruden definitely isn’t the nicest coach to ever play and he can be hell to quarterbacks; however he gets the job done. His biggest fault was his personnel decisions, which Morris will have to correct. Billed as the next Tony Dungy/Mike Tomlin, Morris has a lot of hype to live up to and will need to produce results if he wants his coaching career to last longer than his stint as defensive coordinator

Grade: Firing – D Hiring – B+

Cleveland Browns: Out: Romeo Crennel, In: Eric Mangini
– Crennel had simply grown stale in Cleveland. Mangini is the perfect guy though. He can keep the 3-4 intact, while getting improved production from the offense. A major roster overhaul will be needed, but Mangini can keep this team competitive while that rebuilding begins. However, this team needs to start building through the draft. Cleveland has had huge success in the draft so far with superior players like Kamerion Wimbley, Travis Wilson, Charlie Frye, Jeff Faine, William Green, Andre Davis, Gerard Warren, Quincy Morgan, and James Jackson (1st, 2nd, or 3rd picks all within the last 8 years). Clearly their scouting department needs to get to work.

Grade: B+

New York Jets: Out: Eric Mangini, In: Rex Ryan
– As perfect as Mangini is in Cleveland, he was not meant for New York. He couldn’t handle the media. He couldn’t handle his players. He couldn’t handle Belichick. Rex Ryan is the son of legend Buddy Ryan who created the 46 defense. Ryan Jr. is a perfect candidate. He can get more out of his young defense and is apparently already handling the media with ease. In general, the Jets now only have one or two holes to fill and a young innovative coach who has worked with some of the games’ best.

Grade: A-

Oakland Raiders: Out: Al Davis (unfortunately, that’s not true) Lane Kiffin, In: Tom Cable – There’s not much to say except for Lane Kiffin will return to the NFL someday after a fairly successful stint at Tennessee. Who the hell is Tom Cable??? Don’t get too acquainted. After another 4-12 black hole season in Raiderland, he’ll be another unknown. How many times do you think Davis has asked Madden to come back? Twice?? Three times?

Grade: Doesn’t Matter


Denver Broncos: Out: Mike Shanahan, In: Josh Daniels – Mike Shanahan is a great coach and a future HOFer, but he needed to go. Current handball player (and former Bronco QB) Jake Plummer states that Shanny’s message was getting stale and he needed to go. That probably is true; however, the big problem with Shanny was that he was both the GM and coach. He could never get the talent needed to get to the Super Bowl again. Daniels has a similar background as a young bright offensive coordinator. He should be able to get the most out of Cutler, Marshall, and Royal. If he finds a RB, then this offense could be very good. If the defense plays adequate, they could be dangerous next year.

Grade: B+

Kansas City Chiefs: Out: Herm Edwards, In: Todd Haley
– After an improbable Super Bowl run led by Kurt Warner, the Cardinals’ coaches suddenly became the best head coaching prospects, especially offensive coordinator Todd Haley. In my view, Cardinal O-line coach Russ Grimm will make a better head coach one day. However, the Chiefs don’t feel the same and are looking to get a high explosive offense in the Show Me State. However, this is new GM Scott Pioli’s team, meaning that it will be built on defense. Haley will eventually have more success than Herm, but it will take a few years to get there.

Grade: B-

Indianapolis Colts: Out: Tony Dungy, In: Jim Caldwell – Caldwell replaces another legendary coach. Dungy was a class act in every sense of the word. Caldwell was his long time assistant. His hiring will keep the team together and give them another run at a Super Bowl for the next 3-5 yrs. After that, the team will have to go through major rebuilding. Personally, I see Caldwell having a tough time to duplicate the success of his predecessor. I would have hired one of the guys mentioned below and let their energy feed the defense and let Peyton take control of the offense, while slowly rebuilding the team. Caldwell will win games, but I don’t think he’ll ever win the big one.

Grade: B

Quick Hits:

o How does Ron Rivera not have a head coaching job? The guy oversaw the great Bear’s defenses a few years back and San Diego’s defense last year. Whoever hires this guy is gonna get a real winner.
o Ex BC head coach Jeff ‘Jags’ Jagodzinski, Cardinal O-line coach Russ Grimm and Vikings DC Leslie Frazier are other guys that will be instant winners when they become head coaches.
o The A11 Offense has become prominent throughout high-school football. I don’t know how much I like it, but I toast to the creativity of the formation.
o How many more years will Cris Carter get snubbed by Hall of Fame voters???

That’s all I got for now. Barring another sabbatical, a free agency review will be coming soon.


True Story.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

This week....mash-ups.

Now, if ya'll don't know, get to learnin.

No need to get into the numerous amounts of mash-ups out there (far too many), so we'll just stick to a few that True Story has enjoyed as of late...

Enjoy, America:

Jay-Z vs Jimi Hendrix:


"Led Snoopellin"


Jaydiohead. (the absolute TRUTH, people.)

Jay-Z vs U2



Jay-Z vs The Verve (see a trend here? HOV!)


And while we're at it, some classic jams:

Toy Story v Requiem For A Dream

Muppet Pulp Fiction


Muppet Coldplay



Wow...that kind of got out of hand there....woops.

True Jay-Z (lyrics that can go with any music, apparently)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Paul Harris Likes to Play Basketball

No, really, ESPN has proof and everything.

Here's some choice footage from the last 2 'Cuse blowout wins over Cincy & Rutgers



Dude also likes popcorn.....mid-game.



You know who doesn't appreciate Paul Harris?

One guess.

Courtesy Syracuse.com

"And for just one example of this, there was the Orange's two-on-none fast break in the first 70 seconds following the intermission during which Jonny Flynn, who could have simply laid the ball in, tossed it high off the glass so that the trailing Paul Harris could corral the thing and slam it home.

The game had already evolved into a carnival. Flynn and Harris set the mood early in the second half, when Flynn - coasting on a fast break - flipped the ball off the backboard for Harris, who slammed it.

"I just said it once - I said 'Off the glass,' " Harris said. "He looked. He shot it off the glass."

Boeheim was not as amused.

Boeheim, who spent a fair portion of the night shaking his head, watched this in a mini-state of disbelief and then muttered, "That's equine fertilizer" -- or something to that effect -- as his giddy athletes hopped to the bench.



True Niagara Falls.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

There's no real reason

but admit it, you have 5-10 more minutes to kill....ACT like you don't






Wii Story

Jim Carrey's into havin sex...

He's not into making love...
(NSFW)

Or so it would seem, as this week's edition of (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesday comes with a nice little gift to Fire Marshall Bill himself from none other than one Curtis "JFK" Jackson.

If you can find something as (Un?)necessary as Jim Carrey reppin' the Unit during his Birthday, then you show us America.



Then again, we really shouldn't be surprised....The Pet Detective has never shied away from droppin' a verse or two:





Ahhhh yes, in Living Color....so classic...how we miss your ways.

True Toastin' to the Good Life

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A rare taste of hockey...

We stole this from Fitzy but who gives a hoot. We wanted to spread the wealth on to our readers too. Hockey fans will be especially pleased with this. Some of the movie references are absurd. Maybe even more absurd than the two shameless Nicktoon references we just made you open.



Somebody get this guy and Jack Edwards some goddamn decaf.

True Story.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The only two words she knows in Spanish.....

We'll give you a hint, the words for "red" and "hot". Wow. We underestimated the stupidity of people. We thought we knew, but than we heard a story about the discovery of our friend's roommate and it totally realigned our perspective on life. Without further ado, our friend Ker has the mic:

So i'm not sure if you'd want to use this in your blog but i have a fantastic story for you.

Kirsten went to visit one of her friends from Canada last weekend and her friend told her this story about a girl who goes to Kirsten's friend's college in Canada. I guess her dad just gave her a million dollars for no reason and told her she could use it however she wants.

Well how else would you use a million dollars other than to create and star in a Panamanian reggaeton video??


Enjoy.



"Not sure" if we'd want to use this in our blog?!?! Ummmm, the answer to that is more obvious than this, this, this, or this. Go to the comments on the YouTube page if you want a more graphic response.

Una Historia Real.