(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

After last week's T-Painafied Thr33 Ringz Circus, We are gonna sit back and let B-Real take this one with a choice cut from Cypress Hill's 1991 jam The Phuncky Feel One

You got to relax, we got to kick back
Brothers just sit back, enjoy me like a six pack
As I let the rhyme flow, into the hook Yo
Where you gettin took, but thats another story black




Want some knowledge America? Before The Rock / Rap Superstar's self-titled debut went Double Platinum in 91 (Yeap, the same record with such classic jams like "Hand on the Pump") the Phuncky Feel One was the first single released.

So good, that one of the top rated hip-hop songs ever in "How I Could Just Kill A Man"--one that's been covered and re-released multiple times--was this single's B-SIDE!

Put that in ya pipe and smoke it, America
(inflatable Buddha's not included)

True Bucket Hats.

You are now rapping...

with Paul Harris.

LJB delivered the early goods today...and on that flow of ridiculousness lyrics, and for that matter presentation PLEASE let #11 of SU hoops do the damned thing.

SPEECH!!!(less, now....unbelievable Paul...Really....)



Courtesy of Nunes Magician....holy hell.

True PH.

On Aleve, a Gump I know

Thanks to LJB for this gem. Happy Monday, America.



True Story.

Final message from the Bush Administration

Yes, that is Dana Perino, the most recent Press Secretary of the Bush Administration. This made us laugh right out loud. We are not sure how the Daily Show got her to do this, other than the fact that she was a guest on the show a week or so earlier. Somewhere, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are smiling. Enjoy:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Final Message From the White House

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

True Story.

They do what together?

I-Biz strikes again.

We. Love. Fox.



Not our business to know if that's a True Story.

Because We Can

....That's Why.

The Youtube Description:
"Some Japanese guy uses a trampoline to complete the World's Longest Dunk. Wonder if this counts as a 3 point shot."


We personally love the reactions.

True Story.

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays: the T-Pain Files

Ok, T-Pain's videos are steady approaching the WTF factor....NSFW kids.

Let's take a quick look at Dude for a second:

Tallahassee Pain first Sprung on the 2005 scene as a Rapper Turned Singer and then promptly fell in Luv (Wit A Stripper)

Ok so far it's all good. Dude's from FLA, likes himself some strippers...people can relate.

Then apparently Dude had an Epiphany in '07, started to be a Flirt, bought a few drinks, and fell in love again. I mean, completely reasonable for a Hood dude playin' Kiss Kiss and gettin' Low with every Shawty he saw, as long as they Didn't Go and leave him right quick. If that was the case, well Teddy Penderassdown Got Her outta his System.

Simple as that....dude was livin' the Good Life. Respectable.

Only problem is, that's where his videos started getting crazy. Batsh*t Crazy.

Feel us?

2008 rang in the year where T-Pain Got Money, started rockin Top Hats, bought Three Rings, and much like him, we Couldn't Believe his success. His art, his videos, all crazy spectacles of light and sound all of a sudden. We mean, dude was still the same man that did the dishes for his woman; anything that wanted for some kisses, right?

Look at his recent videos....Guy is Chopped N Screwed; absolutely Ludacris to the fullest if ya ask us.

I mean, we understand that dudes a Boss that's been Goin' Hard for the last few years, he can yell "Go Girl!" to every lady who he thinks has Got It, poplockin and Gettin Loose .

That's fine with us, True Story knows T-Pain has been gettin' that Cash Flow so there's no room to hate. As long as he picks up the tab for One More Drink.

All we're sayin is damn homey, ca.....actually? You know what?

We know What You Do. We can't do it too. Keep Doin Watchya Doin.

FREEZE!



True Story.

And for all the Youtube

...that we subject you with, the least we could do on this historic day, especially with what's going down tomorrow, is embed one of, if not THE greatest speech of all time:




Needs no words.

True Story America.

MLK Day, NFL, New Music, Inaugural, and DMX thoughts...

-Happy MLK Jr. Day loyal readers. We are going to take this opportunity to congratulate Barack Obama on his inauguration into America's highest office. Barry deserves a real Tommy point for this one. Good luck from True Story on figuring out how to get our country out of its biggest mess in our lifetime. Going back to our first post on Oballa's flawlessly executed defense-fast break layup combo, we knew he had what it takes. I mean, if he doesn't, we might end up working here.

*Side note: We wish anyone luck to getting around the District on Tuesday, especially our friends who work down there. Have fun with THAT. We hope that your bosses got a clue and let you have the day off.

-Congratulations to the Cardinals and the Steelers. Our blog continues to massacre playoff picks. We need to do some soul searching and actually pick some winners. Good talk, see you out there. I'm not sure what our pick is going to be for this one, but Kurt Warner seems to have a deal with the devil. I mean, he promised his kids a puppy if he won the Super Bowl. But that doesn't seem to matter, because the Steelers defense seems scary enough that it kills puppies on the regular. We are not going to hide our disdain for the team from West PA, even if they feel too good to have their logo on both sides of their helmet. The one thing we like is Troy Palamalu, both for his ridiculous football skills and this ad you've all probably seen that gives us chills:




-We know we've mentioned a lot of hip-hop, but we love Indie rock too, its just not nearly as funny. Two notable recent releases is Bon Iver's eerily beautiful falsetto album "For Emma, Forever Ago" recorded in an isolated winter cabin in Wisconsin.....as well as the amazing debut from Fleet Foxes and the Black Keys collaboration with Danger Mouse, "Catch and Release". For more amazing picks check this NPR listeners list. NPR's "All Songs Considered" is also a great podcast to update you on all of the new stuff coming out. So for those of you tired of hearing about Chris Brown and Soulja Boy all the time, your welcome!

-We're not quite sure how we haven't talked about this, but DMX continues to baffle our minds with comedy/stupidity. For those of you who do not know, there is a prison in Arizona which psychologically demoralizes their tenants by making them live in pink clothes with pink jail cells. A brilliant strategy to really mess with Arizona's convicts. Please watch this clip that is quite possibly the best thing Fox News has ever put out:

Oh wait, Fox News must have figured out that we just complimented them and has disabled our ability to post the video directly to our site. Here's the link, enjoy. TheRealests.com have even heard rumors that DMX will be let out to perform for Obama? What?

If you want more Earl "DMX" Simmons being more poignant than James Joyce, here's the full interview:



True Story.

RAOWRAOW

Like a Dungeon Dragon!

Sorry, still on a role over here lookin' at VH1HHH shows

We'll leave you with this, the 2007 tribute to True Story's favorite Hip-Hop artists, A Tribe Called Quest and their tribute:

-Common doing "Bonita Applebum"
(also a main source of inspiration for the Apple iPod commercials)
-Pharrell & Lupe Fiasco doing "Electric Relaxation"
(also one of the the Wayans Bros intro songs)
-The aformentioned 3 and Busta Rhymes doing "Scenario"
(so Classic it needs no explanation)

and....uh...um....well....well just watch Busta and see for yourself
(2:39 kiddos)



Oh, Word? HAVE some more peas, America.

How 'bout that new Busta Fashion?

True Mackadocios

While We're At It...

Here's another gem from the VH1 Hip Hop Honors, 2004 edition

The Beastie Boys paying tribute to Run DMC with "Here We Go/Sucka MC's", ft Doug E. Fresh
(poster's intro is 26 seconds long, vid starts after)



True DMC

Don't Call It a Comeback...

We've been here for years.

Well...sorta. (NSFW our peoples)

Don't call this a regular jam, not on (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays!



And while we are at it....what the HELL happened to rap?
Seriously?
TS takes a few weeks off, and THIS is what happens?



That's the move? Really?

Take a sneakpeak at some of 106 & Park's voting "list":

-The aforementioned Traffik (who?)

-Soulja Boy Tell 'EM (who we are preeeetty sure should be charged/tried/convicted for killing rap/hip hop as we know it)

-Yung LA (Tiny True Story is convinced that Lil/Young/Yung/Yun/any infantile pre-fix already gives you 3.75% more street cred)

-Scooter Smiff (dude's like 12 but still driving a better car then us...damnit....also, that "Scooter Smiff went up the Hill, He rolled back down with an Interscope Deal" line is pretty tight... )

Even The Game (say it ain't so!) has joined this mess


Now, we know what you are thinking America...

Hate Hate Hate Hate

And trust True Story, we looooveee us some necessary/(un?)necessary rap, and not all rap/hip hop that comes out now misses the mark in our opinion...
(for great examples see Sense, Common)

But seriously, after watching this year's VH1 Hip Hop Honors (which you can watch in full HERE) we here at True Story can only wonder what the hell happened to rap...

Some choice tracks from the 2008 Honorees to help soothe the soul, enjoy:

-Cypress Hill
-De La Soul
-Naughty By Nature
-Too $hort
(yeah its only a few years old, but a BANGIN beat, c'mon now)

and of course, one of the most classic jams out there from the Ruler:
Slick Rick



True Story.

This week's NFL picks....

Hopefully our predictions for this are a litttttle bit better than our MLB Playoff debacle that predicted Cubs over Angels in the fall classic. Our bad, sorry about about that. We are going to take it a little slower and predict round by round. Keep in mind we are ignoring the spread and picking straight-up winners:

Falcons over Cardinals

-We are going with our gut on this one. The Cardinals have looked horrible for a long time now and are going against a team that has much more momentum. Also, Michael Turner is going against a defense that is simply not very good. Why pick a rookie QB on the road in the playoffs? Despite our disdain for BC, Matt Ryan brings the goods and he is not stuck playing in the freezing cold or with a particularly loud dome crowd (AZ fans seem confused by success) like Minnesota.



Colts over Whales Vagina(Stay classy, San Diego.)

-Satan "Cut that meat!" Manning fresh off of a 9-game winning streak and 2008 MVP award. Good coach(Dungy) vs. bad coach(Norv). Southern California's awesome climate makes the weather a non-factor for either team. This is also more of a emotion pick as well: The Chargers got into the playoffs at 8-8 and our Pats are playing golf this week at 11-5. We will hate the Chargers (we also hate the Colts) as long as Dr. Phil and the crybaby who stole Lawrence "the real LT" Taylor's nickname remain in Saint Diego. Done and done.




Ravens over Dolphins

-Another road team? Man oh man, this might not end well for us. We think Ray-Ray and Co. can handle the Wildcat running formation and force Pennington to throw deep. These deep balls, as a result, might end up being caught by Ed Reed (one of our favs) on multiple occasions. Match that with another lucky rookie QB going on the road in favorable conditions(ask Ricky Ross about the weather in the M-I-Yayo) and the creepy efficiency of this rookie Joe Flacco, and you can probably count on the Ravens advancing to the next round. Another tough pick, nonetheless.

Vikings over the Eagles

Finally, a home team winning a game. As our friend The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons indicated(check out his predictions on our links to the right), we don't want to touch this game with a 10-foot pole. Several reasons why we picked this one:

1. Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor are ridiculously good at running with pigskin under their arms.

2. As Simmons indicated, the Metrodome provides the Vikes with one of the last remaining home field advantages.

3. We don't think the Eagles will benefit from play as horrible as the Cowboys' display was last week. Also, we don't see Tavaris Jackson having to make too many risky plays.



4. Our NFL correspondent, Drew Kiper Jr, is a die-hard Vikings fan and still loses sleep at night due to their historical collapse in the 1998 NFC championship game. He needs this one.


Hopefully, we have provided you with a....

True Story.