(Un?)Necessary Rap Wednesdays

Kanye ft Pusha T - "Runaway"
from Sunday's MTV VMA's

Now, a few things.

First, the way Aziz Ansari reacted to the Taylor Swift thing is exactly how We reacted to it.


Second, one of the more interesting things behind this song (besides the whole, "Let's give a toast to the douchebags..." chorus, and the reason it was even written in the first place) is that he's straight up making a MOVIE for the video.

You hear that, America?

40.
Effing.
Minutes.

They previewed a clip of that video/movie before the VMAs and it looks absolutely ridiculous.

Third, check out what the man himself says about the movie/video/ Kanyexploitation:

"It's the story of a phoenix fallen to Earth, and I make her my girlfriend, and people discriminate against her and eventually she has to burn herself alive and go back to her world. I've been feeling the idea of the phoenix. It's been in my heart for a while."

.....Duh. That's clearly the angle We were thinking. Don't worry Kanye, We've been definitely "Feeling the Phoenix" too...whatever the hell that freaking means.

Actually...that DID get us thinking, America.
What Phoenix is 'Ye feelin?

1. The University of Phoenix?


2. The Order of the Phoenix?


3. This Phoenix?


4. That Phoenix?


5. Straight up Phoenix?

Who knows, really.

All We know, America, is that:

A) Kanye needs a hug.
B) He makes great music regardless of how batsh*! he is and
C) He might have just dropped the biggest and best "Woe is me kinda/I'm Still going to make more Money than you ever will/but still this song is Catchy as Hell and an explanation of how you'll never explain my antics because you don't know who I am or where I come from" song since Naughty by Nature's "Everything's Gonna Be Alright".

...Except Kanye is deducted points, since he doesn't carry a Machete around.

I been a deadbeat, dead to the world and dead wrong
Since I was born that's my life, oh you don't know this song?
So don't say jack, and please don't say you understand
All that man to man talk just hot damn
If you ain't live you couldn't feel it, so kill it, skillet
And all that talk about it won't help it out, now will it?
And Illtown feel like I stuck-up props, got shot
Don't worry, I hit Bob, flurry, and his punk-ass dropped
But I'm the one who has been labeled as an outcast
They changin' schools, I'm the misfit that will outlast
But that's cool with the bull, smack 'em backwards
That's what you get for f$#%^n' with a ghetto bastard

Sounds about the same, yeah?

True Story.

We like sports.

We also like comedy. Glad we established that. Without further ado:



Quite possibly the greatest sports interview in 5-10 years. So good, in fact, that Jimmy Rome doesn't even know how to react to most of it. Some main points:

1. Dude is coming in strong with that beard. REAL strong. The only thing that contends with that facial hair is this fine display of upper lipness.

2. Jim Rome: You get fined a thousand bucks for orange spikes.....What was the fine for?

Brian Wilson: "Duhhuhhpssst....(unamused)....having too much awesome on my feet?"....(Rome laughs, Wilson still unamused)..."clearly, that was the reason."

3. Scroll to 7:20....please.....and see him break out this and this.

New favorite closer? No? ummmm, moving on?



Old Spice continues its dominance of the commercial with one of their most ridiculous ones to date. We don't even know where to begin with this one....Wow. Lets shift to some more football:



Sorry, we tricked you on that one. We forgot to say (Un?)American football. Nonetheless, we feel like no one mentions this anymore. Yes, this did actually happen in 1997. Yes, that is Brazil playing France. Yes, that France team went on to win the 1998 World Cup. No the goalie didn't even move. Yes, it was just proven a few weeks ago by a French scientist that it was, physically repeatable:

Best free kick ever by Roberto Carlos was no fluke, claim scientists

As the Independent reported:

"Using tiny plastic balls and a slingshot, the French research team from the École Polytechnique in Palaiseau near Paris varied the velocity and spin of balls travelling through water to trace different trajectories.

While their research quickly confirmed the long known Magnus effect, which gives a spinning ball a curved trajectory, their research revealed fresh insight for spinning balls that are shot over a distance equivalent to Carlos' free kick."

Our question: Where are the physicists on this one?

What could top that? The finale:



To commemorate the start of football/Patriots season this Sunday, what better video to show you than a young a restless TFB. If only Tommy knew in this video that on September 9, 2010 he would be inches away from serious injury, only to sign the richest contract in the NFL later that day. Good omen? Good haircut?

True Story.

Who Dat Who Dat ?!

NSFW



Us… Duh.

Yessir America, We’re back!

And by “We’re Back” we clearly mean we took 2 months off to handle some very important summer business and forgot to give you the heads up.

Woops. Our bad.

We Know. We Know. You're upset.

...But it's ok, 'cuz we have some more musical goodness coming your way!

Helping to (Un?)Necessarily welcome us back is the dude who’s also helping bring back the Roc, J.Cole (aka Hov’s first artist signed to RocNation)

Straight outta Fayetteville, NC, Jermaine Cole made his moves up to NYC and hit up St John’s to follow some of Hip Hop’s true legends in lyrics and fashion.

Oh, and also some other guy named Darryl McDaniels and his friends from Hollis, Queens.
You may/may not have heard of them.

Anyways, Dude’s blowing up after dropping a crazy mixtape in “The Warm Up” (which we highly suggest), getting featured on The Blueprint 3 and is currently on tour with another True Story fave Wale.

In the meantime, here’s a few other choice hits that we've been digging:

“Higher”



“Lights Please”



So No Worries kiddos, we got what you need. Until next time, Enjoy!

True North Cackalacky.

Alternative (sort of) Awesomeness

Our AA segment returns to celebrate the 70th birthday of the alternative Beatle, Ringo Starr!

The oldest member of the Fab 4 (so sad that Lennon would only be 69 if still alive today)and the last member to join the group, it took a while for John and Paul to actually let him record his own track. Maybe it was this that helped them come to that conclusion, but who knows? Some of his best examples:


His first:



C'Biz's favorite:



What you write on acid, as well as our tribute to the another notable Paul:



As well as the ones all of you already know:






But wait, why not mention his TV career while we're at it?



Wine cooler, anyone?




Happy Birthday Richard Starkey, you even somehow made your way into the plot of a 2009 yuppie chick flick!

Tom: Nobody loves Ringo Starr.
Summer: That's what I love about him.

True Story.

(Un?)Necessary Rap Wednesdays

New from the Party Boyz:



"She like it when I hit the Daddy Stroke."

True Duh.

Holy. $%^! .

Very Necessary.

Sir Lucious Left Foot.

Shutterbug.

Off the Son of Chico Dusty.







From Daddy Fat Sacks himself:

"It's basically a cut that's all about capturing the moment, whether it be your kid's first steps or you got a Polaroid and you with your lady somewhere...It's about capturing the moment and getting them good times. When you look at certain photos, it takes you back to the moment, and that's what it's about. It's a funky, get-down, slap-your-sister-in-the-mouth jam."

True Southernplayalisticadillacstory.

To be continued once we regain consciousness...

Jerseys, anyone?

We've wasted over an hour on this site...and have some astute observations on what has to be the best spectacle of jersey-porn the world has seen since, well, the 2006 World Cup. Some random, off-the-wall, at times probably offensive, analysis:

U-S-A....U-S-A...


First thing's first. No jersey has been as widely debated in a very long time. Some people love it, some people think its as awful as Killers.
Our favorite quote comes from SMC's former Commander In Chief: "The U.S. away jerseys make them look like they just won a pageant."



Spain


An absolutely untouchable jersey. Screams "Don't f%$ck with me!" Or in the words of I-Biz: "Spain's jerseys literally look like they will come off of the racks and kick your ass. Like every evil team in an 80s movie." Speaking of 80's movie villains, notice a trend with Espana?





Argentina




Classic jersey. Led to this exchange:

C-Biz: Dude, I always love the Argentina stripes.
Young Albatross: I don't know, its a bit Messi.

ZIIIIIING!




Germany

Probably the biggest, meanest, angriest sounding (lets face it, the German language doesn't sound understated) group of football players NEED awesome, intimidating black jerseys. Its science.



Ivory Coast



C-Biz's favorite jersey. Love the orange/green combo, love the subtle elephant design on the top left (Puma did similar wonders with Algeria's Desert Fox design) love pretty much everything about it, besides the $105 price tag. One thing we wonder, however. Do you think they will sell the Drogba orange and green arm-cast too?



New Zealand




What the hell? Out of the 32 teams, New Zealand's threads have to be the undisputed champion of suck. As if their chances on the field weren't dreadful enough, they are stuck wearing these for the 3 games they have to show up to. We can't even come up with a good Lord of The Rings OR Flight of the Conchords joke for this. Young Albatross has another issue with these rags: "Were they trying to steal Canada's thunder with the singular nonthreatening floral logo?"




Slovenia



Basically, this is what it would look like if Charlie Brown became a meth-addict and was subsequently put in charge of Slovenia's jersey design team. Right Sasha?




Algeria



A little different than the Desert Fox home jerseys. Young Alby says "pea soup vomit" green. We say "post-Gatorade-binge stool sample" green. What do you think?


Democratic People's Republic of Korea (aka North Dictatorship)

...............................

Wait, no jersey has been released yet? Oh, ok.



Oh Kim Jong, you silly goose:

Vendors Leave No Shirt Unturned Seeking North Korean Soccer Duds

Ok, so the WSJ has answered that question. That won't stop us from picking up our DPRK onesies!



True Story.