As you all know, there have been a lot of ridiculous infomercials to grace the television recently. Along with that, we felt it appropriate to honor True Story favorite, the immortal, Billy Mays. Therefore, we are taking this as an excuse to return to our regular posting schedule with an infomercial megapost!
This is really shameless, and its kind of sad that Clubber Lang was in need of money so badly.
For those of you who can't believe that this golden grizzly gets to 2nd base all over the country, we are pretty sure this is a real product. Unbelievable. But wait, it gets even better:
I know, many of you have probably seen this already....we are sure it will be all over the news within the next week. Nonetheless, True Story commends shameless HJ aerobics with our full seal of approval.
Just in case any True Readers need some help with their fruity watermelon baskets. We think that "about to go on a roller coaster ride to planet fun" would be the best description ever for an eHarmony profile. Complete with the hand motion of course. Moving on....
(NSFW!!)This isn't even an infomercial, but it is an advertisement, and a fine one at that. And finally:
We don't even know what to say to this. Like a Picasso painting or a novel by Oscar Wilde, this needs to be interpreted individually. Bonus video:
The Pitchman himself orders food from MacDo's the only way he knows how.
True Story.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
If only Billy Mays were alive to advertise this...
From Drew Kiper Jr:
Sorry for the lack of posts. We don't even have the economy to blame. We love you.
True Recession.
Sorry for the lack of posts. We don't even have the economy to blame. We love you.
True Recession.
Friday, June 26, 2009
More Hurricane Chris
Oh my dear god. Did this actually happen? We ripped this off of barstoolsports.com, but it was just too damn appropriate with last week's post. From the Louisiana House Chamber, please skip to the 4:10 mark in the video.
(Isn't it in bad taste for someone from Shreveport, LA to take on a rap name which involves a natural disaster that has decimated the state countless times? Anyone? Anyone?)
God. Bless. America.
True Story.
(Isn't it in bad taste for someone from Shreveport, LA to take on a rap name which involves a natural disaster that has decimated the state countless times? Anyone? Anyone?)
God. Bless. America.
True Story.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Vacation
This is why True Story shouldn't be allowed to go on an extended vacation
(NSFW...effing puppets.)
I mean seriously, Iran goes batshit, North Korea threatens nuclear war with...everybody(??), Colbert goes bald (for a great cause)...and even Long Island tries to become the 51st state.
But none of this....NONE of this compares to the kind of (Un?)necessary Rap that we have kept from you during this slacking, America.
We know, we know
Unacceptable.
Fear not, Louisiana lends us a hand with bringing this blog back to "WTF Was Just Said In That Rap Song" prominence.
We give you....Halle Berry (She's Fine)
Now....clearly Halle Berry has heard of this, and there is word of prompt litigation of Hurricane Chris (or is that Rajon Rondo?); information further backed by the creation of a new version "She's Fine".
That'll happen. Unfortunately, that still isn't the whackest thing she's done in the past.
(Pssh, we know what you're thinking, you thought the link was something else. Whatever. We liked it. Wanna fight about it?)
So pump that jam and make sure you pay attention at 2:26
Uh....right?
But anyways, no worries about the lawsuit Ms. Berry...we still like.
And don't you worry America, more to come soon!
True Ellen.
(NSFW...effing puppets.)
I mean seriously, Iran goes batshit, North Korea threatens nuclear war with...everybody(??), Colbert goes bald (for a great cause)...and even Long Island tries to become the 51st state.
But none of this....NONE of this compares to the kind of (Un?)necessary Rap that we have kept from you during this slacking, America.
We know, we know
Unacceptable.
Fear not, Louisiana lends us a hand with bringing this blog back to "WTF Was Just Said In That Rap Song" prominence.
We give you....Halle Berry (She's Fine)
Now....clearly Halle Berry has heard of this, and there is word of prompt litigation of Hurricane Chris (or is that Rajon Rondo?); information further backed by the creation of a new version "She's Fine".
That'll happen. Unfortunately, that still isn't the whackest thing she's done in the past.
(Pssh, we know what you're thinking, you thought the link was something else. Whatever. We liked it. Wanna fight about it?)
So pump that jam and make sure you pay attention at 2:26
I'm finna flip her through traffic
With tha top back of tha donk
Girl I guarantee I can make you go num-num-num num-num
Uh....right?
But anyways, no worries about the lawsuit Ms. Berry...we still like.
And don't you worry America, more to come soon!
True Ellen.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It Just Got a Little Dusty In Here......
Just found out about this ESPN "30 for 30" project in which filmmakers all over the world will contribute. Taking from The Futon Critic.com:
"Debuting in October 2009, "30 for 30" will gather 30 filmmakers to each create one-hour films on topics from 1979 to 2009, ESPN's first 30 years."
Wow, what a great idea. here's the whole link. Barry Levinson, Peter Berg(Friday Night Lights TV Show), Spike Lee, and Steve Nash!
Speaking of Nash's project, this brings us back to a story we heard from NYC resident I-Biz. Apparently he saw the 2-Time MVP on the subway on the way to work reading My First Movie. It all makes sense now, as he was probably prepping himself up for what will turn out to be, in reality, his first movie. His subject? Fellow Canuck Terry Fox. To say this is inspirational would be an understatement. Thankfully, ESPN (we read about this on Bill Simmons' Twitter account) already did a piece on him to give us a little preview as to what we can expect:
Wow, it just got a little dusty in here. We swear it must be allergies.
True Story.
"Debuting in October 2009, "30 for 30" will gather 30 filmmakers to each create one-hour films on topics from 1979 to 2009, ESPN's first 30 years."
Wow, what a great idea. here's the whole link. Barry Levinson, Peter Berg(Friday Night Lights TV Show), Spike Lee, and Steve Nash!
Speaking of Nash's project, this brings us back to a story we heard from NYC resident I-Biz. Apparently he saw the 2-Time MVP on the subway on the way to work reading My First Movie. It all makes sense now, as he was probably prepping himself up for what will turn out to be, in reality, his first movie. His subject? Fellow Canuck Terry Fox. To say this is inspirational would be an understatement. Thankfully, ESPN (we read about this on Bill Simmons' Twitter account) already did a piece on him to give us a little preview as to what we can expect:
Wow, it just got a little dusty in here. We swear it must be allergies.
True Story.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
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