Playoff Preview?!?! Are you kidding me?!?

Why yes Jim, its the True Story MLB Playoffs preview! Its playoff baseball time and we here at True Story could not be happier. I mean, the only thing that could make us happier is if TBS doesn't involve Dane Cook in those horrible advertisements this year.

Our condolences go out to those Mets fans who lost to the Marlins AGAIN to end their postseason hopes. We are hoping Mets fanatic and constant contributor I-Biz is doing OK after the tough weekend; I mean we know what its like to experience that kind of heartbreak.

Moving on, lets check out this year's preview that includes some mighty intriguing first round match-ups.

Rays vs. Chisox/Twins (winner- Rays)

Red Sox vs. Angels (winner- Angels)

Cubs vs. Dodgers (winner- Cubs)

Phillies vs. Brewers (winner- Brewers)


ALCS- ANGELS over Rays
NLCS- CUBS over Brewers


In other words, it is WIDE open. All of those series are going to be amazing to watch, and it should be very close. More specifically, despite our allegiance, it is going to be very tough to beat the Angels this year. They are absolutely stacked everywhere and we're just not sure our Sox have what it takes to take them down in 5. I mean, Christopher Lloyd might be on their side too. With the Rays pitching, it seems they are primed to take down the AL Central winner as well, especially playing in that joke of a stadium known as the Trop that uses roof catwalks as a competitive advantage.

In the national league the race seems even more competitive, but the Cubs probably have the best team in baseball. That should be enough to beat the Dodgers in 4 or 5 games. We think the Brewers should take out the Phillies too behind Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun and the horse known as C.C. Sabathia, who pitched 3 times in 9 days to get his team to the playoffs. We're sure he's slated for games 1, 3, 4, and 5.

So as we see it, we see this actually being the year that another curse is broken. Considering its the 100 year anniversary of the Cubs last World Series, we are going with them over the Angels in 6 games. CUBS WIN, CUBS WIN!



We are probably totally wrong, and we hope we are. So Sox fans and anyone who thinks their team doesn't have a chance. Make this your desktop during the playoffs and BELIEVE:


True Story.

Wait, what is in the fridge?

Seeing how Bill is doing the Disney vacation thing with his family down in Orlando, we suggest just being a champ and buying yourself a nice cold 30 of 'Stones to last the weekend. Hey, it works for us most of the time. If you feel worse than Pete Carroll does today, don't blame us, Bill will be back soon.


Speaking of which, how does #1 USC lose to an Oregon State team that lost to Penn State by 31 points? Makes no sense. Its actually make our heads spin just thinking about it. Thanks to another contribution from I-Biz, we have something to calm us down. A video that finally tells it like it is. (Explicit language warning)



True Story.

"Sometime's I Do"

TGIF

In honor of the lazy start towards the weekend, as well as the tradition of "What's in the Fridge", True Story is going to be hitting you with some videos to hold you over the weekend.

Some have been covered already (BIG Up Campus Clicks) but no worries, True Story is here for the people.

NSFW (Not-Safe-For-Work), language kiddos.


First, a hit that you would only see in NCAA 09, until of course someone refuses to block the blitzing Safety:


WOOPS

and I mean, everyone including SI and True Story has seen this by now, but sweet lord check out this catch one more time:


Decent.

Uh, what George Brett? This alone explains the Royals as a club:



Yikes.

Finally, this little gem from Bobby Lee:


"I'm a scientist. You're a scientist. SCIENCE. TOGETHER. WE..."

True Story.

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen....."

That's right, (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays is back!

In honor of the Sox clinching last night, we here at True Story are going to hook ya'll up with this tasty treat straight from Nellyville, MO:



Now what, you may ask, is the best part about that whole video?

George Jefferson?

The Batter Up Girls?

The Lunatics bunting for a HR?

The world's intro to the Lou's answer Mr. Cheeks in Murphy Lee?
(P.s. YES Darius Miles is in that video. Why wouldn't he be?)

Dude keeping score with BBQ sauce?

Uh, This Lady?


Naw, that'd be the Nellyville Cardinal giving the blog a shout out, even back in Y2K:



True Dat?
Nah nah Nelly.....it's True Story.

"You know how we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do"

Ronnie Brown's a MAN!

...he's 40!


No but really....what in the hell happened to the Pats Sunday?

Can we talk about this? No? No but really, the Dolphins?

True Story is pretty sure this is exactly how every New England fan feels this week:


Listen everybody, True Story is not going to sit here and gripe.
No no, the Pats have had a ridiculous run since 2001, and to say that the season is going downhill after 1 loss to the Dolphins (who are 2-21 in their last 22 games, while the pats are 21 for 23 .....Sonofa#$@#$#@$@#%)

Woah, sorry there. That escalated quickly.

Anyways, we aren't going to do down that road because that would be too outrageous for us to say.

HOWEVER, can we at least talk about the fact that the QB leading the Pats into the bye week, (and presumably the rest of the season Until Kevin O'Connell takes the reigns,yikes) bears an UNCANNY resemblance to Jonathan Brandis (of Ladybugs and Sidekicks fame)?




What, THAT doesn't bother anybody?

Ok, try that picture was taken in the LATE 90s.

Brosef, I'm not sure if the shark talked to you in your dreams last night, but we can't have you leading the effin' Patriots still thinking you're Zack Morris .

Ok, maybe we are a little bitter about this weekend.

True Story.

Seven-six-two millimeter. Full. Metal. Jacket.

Ok, so we thought we would start a new week off with this tasty little clip many of you may not have seen:



Moral of the story: some people should just not have kids. The jury is still out on whether or not this is old footage of the woman below.




True Story.

"A-MA-ZING"

Big up to finder and contributor PMS

And Oh no, no, NO...Thank YOU CBosh/DHoward.


Yet another masterpiece from the personal collection of one
Chris Bosh:

(Full Transcript of Viral Video Excellence Below. God Bless the Internet.)


CBOSH: "There we go...We just got done doing the OPRAH show.
OH.MY.GOD. It was CRAZY. Nah man, you've got the people behind us 'n everything. Ya know we had the whole Olympic Special, I'm just happy to be a part of it.

Later, I'm bout to go out on the Chi-Town man.

Thank you Oprah. Please bring me back."

DHoward: "Man LOOK, Oprah is the BEST. KnowatImSayin? We went to the Oprah Show...it was AMAZING. A-MA-ZING. Me & C-Bosh, doin' it big with Oprah.

She took a picture with me,
AND she rubbed my face.
Iloveyoubaby, goodbye."


TR-UE STORY.

"Take, Take Me Home....

...Cuz I don't Remember"


Actually yes. Yes we do remember, Phil.

I mean, It's (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays!

How could True Story forget you and Bone Thugs-N-Harmony on a collaboration for the ages??



I mean, nothing says Phil Collin's hard side like:
"Please Mr. Postman, quit bringin' these bills to my house
Quit bringin' this stress to my spouse
'cause I'm ready for the kill on look out, look out"

Well, at least he used to, right?
Yikes.

$47 Milli Phil?
Hot Damn. That'll be a lot of extra cheese on her Whoppers.

Look at the brightside Phil! I mean, yes True Story was compelled to buy that single to see what the hell that mess was all about:



But with this street cred and recent fallout, you're now you're the frontrunner for a posthumous remix!

Plus, at least you have this working for you, which is nice:
Gophilla Collins


True Story.

Drew Kiper Jr. Index

(Note:True Story would like to introduce our periodic NFL analysis. Drew is our NFL/NFL Draft expert from the Midwest who will be contributing his knowledge and absurdity to our site from time to time. If he offends anyone, blame Middle America.)



As you all know by now, the Golden Boy Brady injured his knee within the first couple of plays of the Patriots-Chiefs game in Week 1. With the reality of him being out for the season, this gives me the perfect opportunity to analyze the new Patriots starting quarterback, Matt Cassel. The first thing about Cassel, he is probably the best backup QB of all time. Ever since joining the league, he has backed up Tom Brady (see the 3 Super Bowl rings). During college, he backed up Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart (see the 2 Heismans). And while this cannot be confirmed, I’m pretty sure he backed up Terry Bradshaw in high school.

In all seriousness, Cassel has solid footwork. He’s never going to be a mobile quarterback, but his pocket presence will be enough for him to get rid of the ball and into the hands of his receivers. He can make nearly every throw, but that doesn’t mean that he always does. He has pretty good arm strength and decent accuracy. However, with all of the weapons around him, it’ll be hard for him not to succeed. Two top quality receivers, very solid line, and a quality tight end. Pretty much it means we could be seeing more of this:



Finally, I know everyone has been thinking this. With Brady out and the only other backup on the roster being Kevin O’Connell, you have to be wondering if the Pats will explore other free agents. Personally, I’m hoping for Daunte Culpepper to go on to post-graduation school and reunite with Randy Moss.

Quick Hits

*After finding out that he had been replaced by Rudi Johnson, Tatum Bell decided to steal some of Rudi’s personal possessions. Included in the robbery: Credit cards, money, socks, and underwear. I know if True Story ever fires me, their jock is going to be the first thing I go after.

*Pacman found out he was reinstated to the NFL while eating at Hooters. I’m pretty sure that he meant for it happen that way. Even if he had to stay at that Hooters for the next two weeks, it meant he was going to be there.

True Story.

Why we love YouTube

Thanks to I-Biz, a constant contributor to True Story, we might have a new favorite YouTube clip.



We love our 80's movies and The Neverending Story and The Last Starfighter rank as two of the best. YEAAAAH!

True (or neverending?) Story.

Weekend Shenanigans

Yikes.

What a weekend.

True Story got together for a shindig up in the Empire State, taking in some of that Division 1A (FBS Still sounds stupid) College Football you know we like.


No. Really. Stop Laughing...ok ok ONE DI team was present there,
but We digress...

This Football weekend lived up to the hype:

USC is USC.

the Ohio State University, is, well, the Ohio State University

And finally, Rutgers is back to being Rutgers.
(Big up to Wiz of Odds)

That said, we all know the biggest game of this week wasn't tOSU-USC
(Hey did you know that those two played this weekend? Wait, Beanie Wells was out? Really? I had NO idea. Hopefully they dedicate a week of SportsCenter to that. Just Sayin.)

No sir, that game would have been Pats-Jets.

EVERYONE had the Pats losing;
Vegas, the Press, Randy Moss...everyone.

(Nah just playin...we think...ok I'm sure he got a hint of that bored feeling again but still a dub is a dub.)

And the game was legit, until Adalius Thomas had something to say about that 1 -point spread the Jets were given:



And just like that, Jet Favre and the Bretts were reminded that the Pats still own the AFC East.

Boo-Ya.

Turns out, we here at True Story were going so completely nuts over that hit that we completely forgot that we had some hidden-camera tape of what Adalius ManBeast was like during his college days.

Uh, Right? Ok then Adalius!
True Story.

What's In the Fridge?

Doc Bird’s Heffe

So for this week I went outside of the readily available beer cases and reviewed something only a SELECT few may have…this is my review of Doc Bird’s Heffe. This is my good friend’s father’s home-brewed hefeweizen. So thanks to Kim and her dad, Dr. Bird.

Hefeweizens are a wheat style of beer that are often cloudy (unfiltered) and have a distinctive banana/clove bouquet as well as taste. Overall refreshing, are a candy-shop of aromas and tastes that you too can find at your local packie. While a predominantly German style of beer (although recently Long Trail and Magic Hat have given it a try), Belgian white/wheat ales are also wheat beers that have more of a citrus flavor (think Allagash White or Blanche de Bruxulles). Often both styles of beer are served with a citrus slice caddy on the glass, BUT BEWARE! Don’t treat your beer like a piece of fish! Discard the fruit, suck on it if you must (those coming down with a cold or scurvy will be excused); just keep it away from the beer!

The classic German hefeweizen breweries include Ayinger, Schneider, and Erdinger. Doc Bird’s Heffe, home-brewed in the Berkshires, is most reminiscent of Ayinger’s Brau Weisse, a lovely golden amber color with a classic banana aroma. Doc Bird’s rendition then has a subtle clove taste at first, but as you venture further, a light ginger ale flavor. The carbonation is slight, as not to a create ping-pong match on your tongue, but enough so that the head is retained until the last sip.

If the hefeweizen style of beer seems to be something you’d like to try, I think I’ve done enough brewery name-dropping to give you some places to start. But if you were looking for the closest approximation to Doc Bird’s Heffe, then I would go for the Ayinger Brau Weisse. Not enough suggestive suggestions for you? My favorite heffe? Schneider Edel-Weisse, it’s light, full of clove, and it’s certified organic…so it’s like you’re saving the world one beer at a time!

As always, have a cold one,
Bill

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

Here's a little tasty treat to get your (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesday's goin'.

A little late you say? Hey, no worries, we still will deliver the goods to hold you over for a week.

That said, & all Tom Brady's Exploded Patella aside, we here at True Story are absolutely pumped for the start of the College & Pro football season.

Oh football, how we've missed you so.
The hoodies, the sellout crowds, the cheeleaders.

Ah yes, the cheerleaders (Oh no no, thank YOU Oregon). Now, if there were only some way to infuse our weekly rap session with you...

What's this? Oh there is?

Good googly moogly.

"I'm Crown Vic old school, squeezin' on her boo-boo"

Not exactly sure what that all means,
but We are pretty sure it's a True Story.

Aint nothing but a mistake.....

The starting quarterback of the New England Patriots, Matt "Eureeka's" Cassel:




A precursor to some upcoming analysis on whether the not-so-sober QB can actually play football. Stay tuned.


True Story.

"The title held by me...

....True Stor-y

Fast-Forward to 0:35 for the goods.




..."Cuz what you think you saw you did not see."


Actually, yes. Yes you did.
Will smith. German TV. Men In Black. Ukulele.


....act like you don't know the lyrics for a minute, America.

Truest of Stories.
(Big Up NJD)

Day of Days

True Story, being native football-loving New Englanders, only had one reaction to the events that happened in the above picture.




Moving on, the new starting QB for our Patriots last started an organized football game the last time we did..........his senior year of high school. Our feelings toward the matter can be a little more positive.



Sadly, a True Story.

Got it Bad, Got it Bad, Got it Bad...

Holy Hell.

Now, we here at True Story have been speculating for some time about just who Republic VP Candidate Sarah Palin looks like, getting in a few heated debates settled by only the most necessary and democratic of styles, and eventually announcing our look-alike champion of Mary McDonnell, more commonly known (among various roles) as First Lady Marilyn Whitmore (Independence Day like a mafacka) and Laura Roslin from the new Battlestar Gala....uh, nevermind....Moving on?

Moral of this tale? True Story = Fake Story.
Turns out we weren't even CLOSE

BIG ups to SI's "Hot Clicks" for righting the ship and bringing forth the real reason why men all around the US between the ages of 18-35 are saying "Waaait a minute...who the hell does she look like?"




Unbelievable. An F'in TEN!

Oh no no, thank YOU CNN's sports Mag for bringing to light how the Straight Talk Express is stepping up it's game by resurfacing thoughts about Tonie Perensky, aka Miss Davis the Sex-Ed Teaching Stripper from West Canaan, TX High.


I mean, if that doesn't at least spur your interest about means for voting Republican, we have zero idea what will.


Hell, we'd still Varsity her Blues AND ask Miss Davis to prom.

True Story.
(Billy Bob Not Included.)

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

With Oballa riding high from last week (through the miracles of science, no less), the Republican Convention in full swing, and Tiger walking on water, it's been a busy last couple of days here at True Story.


To help keep our minds right, we've enlisted the help of completely (un)necessary rap videos to help keep us on point every hump day.

This week's MC? Look no further than Ca$h Money Millionaire Juvenile himself.

Juvy, end all this Political Convention jibba-jabba and give the American people a REAL speech...



uh...nevermind.

True Story?

Another Tiger?

According to this story, everyone's favorite golfer is expecting another member of the family. We're thinking that Tiger got more then a trophy after his historic comeback victory @ the US Open.

Then again, he may just be trying to conquer the world, he does possess Jesus like attributes:



Stay tuned tomorrow for the Wednesday unnecessary rap video. New posts coming, look out for "What's In the Fridge?" posts every other Friday.

True Story.