Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Tiny Toons Adventures started us off early. Suddenly, it all makes sense. I mean, even Bill can appreciate Buster Bunny knowing EXACTLY "What's In the Fridge?". If you are our age, this will explain your bad habits, starting at childhood.



If you watch the whole thing, they not only get hammered and horrify some women, but they steal a cop car and think its a good idea. Wow. They try to turn around the connotations at the end, but I think they failed miserably to realize that every kid watching this was at least CURIOUS about drinking after this was over. Anyone ages 20-23, enjoy this great piece of nostalgia. Interpret it if you want to. While you're at it, grab a cold one.


True Story.

Nerds.....Rejoice!!!!

Are you serious?!?!




We are freaking out over here. Yes, that is Jeff freaking Bridges. For those of you who aren't that nerdy: here and here....for those who watch Family Guy, here:

Family Guy Peter TronFighters.com

True Story.

Chinese Democracy= Free Dr. Pepper?!?!

Thank you A-Biz for showing us this. Thank you Axl Rose. Thank you Dr. Pepper. Thank you India.

Taken from Beverageworld.com, from the Associated Press 2008:

Dr Pepper to Deliver on Free Soda Promise
Friday, 21 November 2008

LOS ANGELES: Dr Pepper is making good on its promise of free soda now that the release of Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" is a reality. The soft-drink maker said in March that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if the album dropped in 2008. "Chinese Democracy," infamously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale Sunday.

"We never thought this day would come," Tony Jacobs, Dr Pepper's vice president of marketing, said in a statement. "But now that it's here, all we can say is: The Dr Pepper's on us."

Beginning Sunday at 12:01 a.m., coupons for a free 20-ounce soda will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site. They'll be honored until Feb. 28.

True Story.

Tennnnnderrrrrrrrrrr

Thank you College Humor. This has been stuck in our heads the entire day.

Somebody find that kid and hire him to do GM advertising.

True Story.

Some of that (Un?)necessary Rap You Like...

Yeah yeah, True Story dropped the ball on a busy Wednesday and couldn't get the post up in time.

Wanna fight about it?

Anywho, this week's blast of your (Un?)necessary Rap comes in the form of the Kidz in the Hall's earlier 2008 release "Drivin' Down The Block"


You Enjoy, America:



Now, just a tidbit of info...

First of all...who the hell WOULDN'T buy a car from those guys?
I mean, they are no Billy Fucillo but who the hell is?

Oh Wait... Bill Fucillo.

Riiight.

Also, we here at True Story appreciate any (Un?)necessary Rap that reps some Tribe now and again:

"[Driving down the block] My Low End Theory tape in
Playing number six, "Show Business" is my s#*%"

Respeck.

Second, this song uses a few samples, none so much more identifiable as the reference to Outkast's "Elevators (Me & You)" towards the end.

However, the hook lyrics as well as the intro are provided by Masta Ace's early 90's Jam "Born To Roll" (Check it out from 1:18 on)

Now,True Story mentions this if only because that version of Born To Roll may have, nay, DOES have the best Remix title.

Ever.

Done and Done.

Don't believe us? See for yourself.

Wow.
No no, Wowowee.

We haven't seen that kind of ridiculousness, well...since...

True Story.

Summer Reflection

We don't know about you, but we recently spent some time thinking about this past summer during these long hours of studying. In our opinion, it can be defined as this: The 3 month period where 20-30 year old males rotated this album:



And this album:




....and didn't even question the awkwardness of it. Don't lie to yourself, 95% of you know what we're talking about.

True Story? You betcha!

Frodo, Don't Wear the Ring

So chillen with I-Biz and A-Biz in Brooklyn last night, stumbled into some characters at a bar that warranted some phone calls.

Flight of the Conchords excited I-Biz enough to be enthused about the night, but I noticed the dude standing next to them: Elijah Wood? Really? Talk about a random night.

As if it wasn't good enough, they were all hanging out together with that girl from Flight of the Conchords AND the Daily Show, Kristen Schaal:



Finally, to make things more ridiculous, is this next video why Elijah was hanging out with all of these people in the first place?



I don't rap about bitches and hos,
I rap about witches and trolls.

Wow, you can't even make that up. I'm sure he didn't mind my buddy Scags screaming "Frodo!" from 10 feet away.


True Story

No words.

No words can describe this.

BIG up to SI's Hot Clicks.













Yup.

What's In the Fridge?

Doppelbocks…mmmmm…S’muttonator

Man it's getting cold out there..and what better time to introduce the style of beer known as the doppelbock.

Bocks, a German style of lager, are stronger in flavor and alcohol than your base beer. Many winter seasonal brews can be considered as bocks. Brewed in the beginning of the year, bocks and doppelbocks (double strong bocks) have traditionally taken the sign of the goat (Capricorn) in many of the labels and advertising. Taking months to age and ferment, bocks and doppelbocks roll out towards the end of October (lasting the winter months through).
Flavor wise, dopplebocks question your fortitude as a beer drinker. Ranging between 6 and 9% ABV, they’re not for lightweights, but can be handled in the alcohol department. But what dopplebocks do is call you out and hit you in the mouth with a strong malty fist. It’s like drinking molasses... thick, dark, and rich. But with yeast in the mix, it'll get you drunk.
One dopplebock in particular is the Smutty Nose S’Muttonator. Like its dopplebock –ator cousins Ayinger Celebrator and Spaten Optimatorr, the S’Muttonator pours a deep/dark brown and has the great malty backbone. But where it differs from its German ancestry is by having a double wallop of both malt and spice. It is a combination that compliments each other, the sweet/bitter of malt and the surprising taste of cinnamon and clove, without masking either flavor.



So when it dips below 30 degrees and is already dark at 4:30 in the afternoon, have a dopplebock. Who cares if by the time you finish you’ll feel like going to bed (who knows, it may take you a while to finish anyway). At least you’ll have a warm fuzzy feeling all over, and you won’t have to turn up the thermostat (in the end you’ll be saving money for more beer).

As always, have a cold one,

Bill

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

Somewhere, Al Green is crying.

Peep this 2004 Lil'WheezyAna release of "Earthquake", a play off of Green's '72 "Let's Stay Together"



"It's the bird man jr. sincerely yours
When it rains it pours, when it rains it whores"

...Apparently.

Lil' Wayne bringing kids to school so he can go kick it with Birdman?

That's common knowledge.

But Wheezy as a Sox fan? That brings this to a whole new level.



Jesus Wayne. The Packers, Bruins & Lakers too? Really guy?

Sound like someone we know?

Whattabout College Wheezy?

"She sees that my wrist is blue and yellow like Michigan"


Hmm...Previous evidence would have pointed you to go Carolina there...

No worries, We here @ True Story got the East Coast on lock but will rep the set for the Maize & Blue... (Kudos to anyone who figures out who they are in those pics)

BIG up toThe Realests as well, who know a thing or two about Michigan and Lil' Wayne (and because they took the time to justify repping one Max Meisel)


And you know what?

We all know because of Royalties A.G. is livin' with "All these karats like he's a f$#%in vegetarian"

Dude got cake like erryday his birthday, nahmeez?

No?

Nah, us either... No Worries.

True Story.

"It was kind of like an Oral Typo..."

Kenny Mayne. Scott Van Pelt.

ESPN's Mayne Street.

Episode 1 "Fixes".





True Story.

Undressing Salad

First off, thank you to all of those who serve/have served our country today. Thanks also to the US Government for giving us one of the most awkward days off in recent memory, a Tuesday holiday. Seeing how we have little to complain about recently, we must mention something that has been on our minds for a while. A couple weeks ago one of us and our friend 'Marb went up to Vermont for some interesting shenanigans. We stayed at a house where numerous girls lived. It took until we got nice and comfortable to realize the unique thing about the fridge and the female gender in general. We opened up the several fridges and realized a staggering amount of one certain thing.......salad dressing.



I mean, how much do you need? Is this the staple of women everywhere? We noticed there were...get ready....23 different bottles of salad dressing throughout the kitchen. 20 of these were in active use, and 16 were in one fridge alone. Also, every bottle was different....we didn't even think they made that many. Wow.

We started to think back after this and realize the dinner we had with them. This direct quote from 'Marb explains that situation:

"We ordered food from a pizza joint and what did they order? Salad. The men ordered large subs containing meats, cheeses, and sausages. The women ordered chicken caesar salads, with specific instructions on how to put the dressing on the side. The salads arrived, however the dressing was on the salads."

Why do women love salad so much? Do you ladies know how bad some salad dressing is for you? What can be the male equivalent of this phenomenon?....

Ketchup. Males love ketchup maybe even more than women and their dressing. We challenge anyone to find a guy who doesn't have it in his fridge or doesn't put it on 50% of his meals.

Just a little sociology lesson for our readers today.

True Story.

You're Welcome Jay-Z...

You know what? Because we said so.


ACT like you won't bump this America.





True Story B$#%^es.

"Oooh Girl....

....Don't Pump Fake Me Now!"

BronBron has a new commercial out for his latest edition Nike Zoom Lebron VI's

We'll let LBJ, Nicole Scherzinger (of Pussycat Doll fame) and the kicks speak for themselves:




"You got me smiling,
I don't smile.
You got me changing my expression,
I don't express."

Unbelievable.

"That's genuine leather right there baby, it ain't that Fake Stuff"

True Witness.

Remember, remember, the 5th of November

Yes. He. Did. Excuse the bias in this post, but the whole world is excited about this.

Congratulations to Mr. Barack Obama for becoming the first African American President Elect in the history of the nation. We credit ourselves for putting him over the top in the swing states with our blockbuster endorsement a couple of weeks ago, even mentioning his extracurricular activites a couple of months ago. Your welcome Oballa. By the way, if there was one unnecessary comparison we would have to make about last night's acceptance speech, it was an eerie similarity to a certain football coach. First of all, he barely cracked a smile. I mean, you don't need to be a contestant on Make Me Laugh after you have become the first minority to become President of the USA, geez. Second of all, after one of the most momentous victories of all time, word is he was back to work hours later, setting up a transition team. Sound like someone we know? Hopefully he didn't videotape Hil-dawg during the Iowa Caucuses.






On a serious note: Congratulations America. Democrat, Republican, Independent, Libertarian,Green; there needs to be change in this country, and Barack has earned the chance to send this nation into the future with an agenda aiming to bring us back to prosperous times. Mr. McCain was not going to do that, and Sarah Palin did not help change our minds. Lets hope President Obama's new ideas combined with the rest of the government, actually accomplish things and get us in the right direction again.

This, however, was not all political. This was a symbol of how far this country has come. One of us received an e-mail this morning telling us how they choked up. The memory was living in Mississippi in 1971, where they listed "deaths" and "black deaths" separately in the local newspaper. For those of us scoring at home, that was less than 40 years ago, my friends. They never thought they would see this day, and frankly neither could we. There were reports of people dancing in the streets of Brooklyn well into the night. People at UMass are so happy that they were giving out pizza for free to students today in one building, simply "because of the election". One of our professors is an international marketer, saying how he had received texts from people from eight different countries. All of these people had exclaimed their excitement of this day, evidence that our image is already being improved internationally. Finally, one story today from one of us that says it all:

"I work in a dining hall, and there is this Vietnamese man who works every day. He just came here, I was told he used to be a Colonel in the South Vietnamese Army. He speaks absolutely no English. It's to the point where when I ask him to go on break, I at first needed a translator to tell him to eat. This evening, when one of my buddies was reading the headline of the USA Today, we noticed something. This somber man points to the newspaper, smiles at all of us, and pumps his fist like he just scored a touchdown. If that doesn't say it all, I don't know what does."

And now, this week's video, not exactly a music video, not exactly rap, but pretty unnecessary:



Here's how it works.

True Story.

Monday Funday

Here's a few NSFW ramblings to get you goin' through the end of your case of the Mondays and push you through to Election Day

True Story survived the weekend & didn't even have to break out this speech:


This Year's USC Halloween Prank, involving Capt. Compete Ferrell:



Apparently, he has a laser in the crotchal region that can repair fillings.
Not even mad, True Story is impressed. That's amazing.

PepsiCo apparently has lost it's collective mind. Yikes.

Speaking of change, it has just been announced that AI has been traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups/Antonio McDyess's knees.

Apparently, Mr. Dumars is trying to clear cap space for BronBron in 2010.
Innnnteresting.

Chauncey is finally going home, but he miiiight want to rethink that official MySpace layout. Just Sayin.

and don't worry Rick, we've forgotten how you were COMPLETELY justified for trading Chauncey not even halfway through his rookie year for Kenny #$@#% Anderson

(OK OK Rondo helped the C's to a ring Sorry. Bitterness. Success is a Choice. Moving on...)


ELECTION DAY IS FINALLY HERE:

Check out Behind the Candidates, a site dedicated to the research & profiling of the top advisers on foreign policy, national security, energy, health, and economics—as well as the campaign advisers—with that research presented in a side-by-side comparison that, in theory, will serve as a handy resource for anyone interested in what a potential McCain or Obama administration will look like.
Provided and created by iBiz (a regular contributing True Story mofo)

Also, how can the Politicians and Pundits expect the American population to focus during election time when we all know that these pivotal months leading up to the most important Tuesday in the year inspire one thing, and one thing only...

Voting?
NAHHH son!

Horrifying(ly awesome?) Music Videos!

Enjoy:
















Egads.
Check out more of this ridiculousness at Cracked.com

To wrap this up, let's just say that We here at True Story respect other people's opinions on whom to vote for, especially when we get a chance for real to recognize real (ridiculous Segway Video Blogging, that is)

...We think we'll let Sir Rock Obama speak for himself.

PREACH!


True Story, Mafacka??

GET OUT AND VOTE!