(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays...uh Thursdays...?

Woops, Our bad, hit that tape delay, Wednesday turned into Thursdays

Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol.
NSFW kiddos

No, really...ask Jamie Foxx...and T-Pain, of course.
(We're pretty sure recording artists are now contractually obligated to have T-Pain & Lil' Wayne on their albums in some fashion...not that we're arguin'.....just sayin'.)

If there is one common theme that has been popping up lately in Hip-Hop, it's that Lyrics Matter more and more rappers are talkin about their beer goggles (this means YOU, Luda)



Take for instance Jamie Foxx's latest & Greatest (possibly ever, see the roster), "Blame It (On The Alcohol):



Holy Testicle Tuesday Thursday!

Now, it's (Un?)necessary enough that this song contains lyrics like the hook:

Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on the 'tron, gotcha panties off
Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol, blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol

Or Jamie Foxx's

I was unaware how fine u was before my buzz set in,
my buzz set in, yea

Or Even T-Pain's

You know what i mean
Shawty got drunk, thought it all was a dream
So i made her say I, I I
Now she got her hand on my legs,
got my seats all wet in my ride (all wet in my ride)
All over my ride (all over my ride)
She look me dead in the eye, eye eye
Then my pants got bigga, she already knew what to figga
Had her lookin at her boyfriend like "f$% dat $^%#@

(Wait a minute, did he just say his car wa....sweet lord We think he did. Nevermind....moving on.)

But really, how the hell do you compete with a lineup that includes:

1. The aforementioned artists
2. Hype Williams
3. Samuel L (complete with a Michael Phelps party starter perhaps?)
4. Forest Whitaker
5. Jake Gyllenhaal
6. Ced the Entertainer
7. Tatyana M. Ali (Before and After...egads.)
8. Quincy Jones
9. Bill Bellamy
10. Ron Mutha#$$%^n Howard

And a Dancing Panda.




Greatest Video Ever?
True Story.

(p.s....already a remix with Wheezy....told ya'll!)

Rickey wants to play baseball......

This is incredible. One of the greatest players in baseball history, Rickey Henderson is due to be inducted into the HOF class of 2009 with our boy Jim Rice. However, he is also famous for referring to himself in the third person, never eating a piece of humble pie, and overall ridiculous antics on a daily basis. Check out this interview with Mike and Mike to see the extent of this ridiculousness. We're not going to spoil it for you, its that good.




Wow. Stay tuned for some delayed rapness.


True Rickey.

Much pea-ness going on here......

Thanks to M-Geibs for this classic. Proof once again that we are still 12 years old. Nonetheless, hope everyone had a good weekend.




True Story

"So when you get done with this, you should be buttassneked"

We are pretty sure it's safe to say that our poster boy KG doesn't approve of TNT Craig Sager's outfits:

From this past weekend in Phoenix, AZ (mind you it WAS V-day)



and lest we forget:

Sager: "Congratulations Kevin, your team is fun to watc..."
KG: "Let's talk about this outfit for a second"



True Lime Thong

"Feels so weird, feels like someone else is playing..."

Well then, thanks to contributor PMS our morning has been ruined forever...

behold, Alec Baldwin on his 14th (1 shy of tying Steve Martin) appearance hosting on SNL last Valentine's day Saturday.

Baldwin playing "Wario Shake"... NSFW kiddos



the Wii will never be the same. (neither will the old Wayne's World Set)

PS God Bless Hulu, and Alec Baldwin for that matter for this Super Bowl Ad:



True Mushy-Mushy

Shaqawockeez

In case you missed in on Sunday, the big Shaqtus himself broke it down with the JabbaWockeeZ (of the Quest for G/America's Got Talent/Original Winners of America's Best Dance Crew fame) to the tune of Nas' "Hero" for his All-Star Reserve intro....classic.



This, of course, was nothing new after completely serving Dwight Howard (Shaq is, was, and will be the ONLY NBA Superman btw people...it already happened to Orlando in the early 90s, that's it, end of discussion. Let me introduce you to the REAL Diesel), and Bron-Bron in the 2007 All-Star game practice in Vegas:



True Shaquille/Diesel/Shaq-Fu/Big Aristotle/Big Daddy/Superman/Big Agave/Big Cactus/Big Shaqtus/Big Galactus/Wilt Chamberneezy/Big Baryshnikov/Real Deal/Dr. Shaq/Shaqovic.

(thanks Shaqipedia.)

Postalicious

No real rhyme or reason here....just unnecessary, really.



True Story.

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

Well know children, this is EXACTLY why we got into this rap business...

Just to make sure that this...kind...of...uh...happens every day?

No no that can't be it.

So...uh...next time your on the dance floor...

uhm...do the..."Stanky Legg"?



No...really...that song is called "Stanky Legg" by some 5 seconds of fame called the "GS (stands for G-Spot..swahtagawd) Boyz".

I guess THIS is the move:



No no...seriously....look it has lyrics and everything....see?

"When I hit the dance floor, you know Im doin the stanky leg. (do it!)
Sauce on my ring (ay) then I rub it 'cross your head.
You an h boom cool chick you can do it too.
Jack your feet up in the air and check your Myspace too.
Now you can lean wit it,
now you can drop wit it.
You can switch to the other leg and you can stop wit it.
Now gig it, gig it
Now gig it, gig it
Now gig it, gig it
Now gig it, gig it"

And if you've had enough doin' the Stanky Legg, well buck up just "Hit the Booty Do"....because that was the most logical next choice...right? Duh.

"Now hit the booty do, hit the booty do
Now hit the booty do, hit the booty do"



No...really...these are lyrics to a song...really...they're on the Internet and everything...

"But dont chicken noodle soup
I want see ya drop it,shake dat
Woop da dee doop
Drop dat,woop da dee doop
Shake dat,woop da dee doop"

Ok...for all you hip-hop heads of the new era...for those talkin' some mess about how you can't take the lyrics seriously, or that it's all about making a new dance and getting rich...all We have to say is...


We don't care...WHAT.THE.F#$% happened to hip-hop?.

True. Story.


P.s. what the HELL is going on here?


Oh, Right...

The Quest for G

We hope everyone had a great weekend. As many of you knew, it was NBA All-Star weekend out in Phoenix (not Joaquin, Arizona). Can anyone figure out why the dunk contest kind of sucked? For those of you who saw it: Dwight Howard dunked on a 12 foot hoop, casually, with two hands. Ummmmmm, what? Why didn't Dwight Howard just dunk on a 14-foot hoop instead of trying to foul line it for his finale? People keep doing this every year and fail to realize Dr. J and Michael Jordan did it a quarter of a century ago. Oh well, Nate Robinson, aka 50 cent's little brother, deserved it this year.

The REAL story behind the festivities was the commercial that absolutely killed us during the actual game on Sunday night. The advertisement was for Gatorade, titled "The Quest for G".



Yes, that is our poster child, KG leading a group consisting of:

1. Kevin Garnett
2. Derek Jeter
3. Jimmie Johnson
4. Usain Bolt
4. Misty May and Keri Walsh
5. Alicia Sacramone
6. Bolt's pet Ego


Ridiculous. That's a lot of Olympic medals. We especially love the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar cameo, the JabbaWockeez, as well as Michael Jordan's godlike voice at the very end.

For all of you nerds out there, including us, we obviously got the main reference right away. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of viewing any movies or tv shows of Monty Python's Flying Circus, here is a clip from the movie this whole thing is based off of:



True Story.

Leaning towards 20 %

Some video's of JP spittin' some bars, rockin' a snood, and eventually falling off stage:







True Joaquin

Whattayou.....whattayou gas em up with?.....

For those of you who missed this on Letterman last night, enjoy. We are about 80% sure this is a joke, but we hope more than anything that the other 20% points towards Joaquin Phoenix going absolutely bonkers, growing a long beard, quitting acting, and pursuing his hip hop career. Wow.

In other news, once a 90's legend on the baseball diamond, Roberto Alomar has been accused of having full-blown AIDS.....and like any "logical" person would, proceeded to have unprotected sex with his current ex-girlfriend for three years. Here's the link.

It doesn't get any more up our ally than that one-two punch of absurdity.

Finally, February 6th (Truck Day) came and went. You know what that means, America:



Time for some Red So.....we mean, uh, baseball.

True Story

Believe Us, America...

...when T-Pain says, he F#$^$#%d a Mermaid on SNL



After all, it IS (Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays!


So grab yo Flippy Floppys people,



Hop on that porpoise, do "flips & sh#%"



Straight climb ya buoys



and Do Work.

After all, lyrics like this aren't a mistake:

"Like Kevin Garnett,
Anything is Possi-BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"


True Hype Right Now

Uh...What?

CNN news headline online yesterday.

"Surgeons remove healthy kidney through donor's vagina"

Uh...What?

Url is HERE

Um...what?

"Removing the kidney through a natural opening should hasten the patient's recovery and provide a better cosmetic result," Montgomery said."

Huh?

" The three-hour procedure typically allows the donor to return home within 24 hours.

The more traditional surgery requires a 5- to 6-inch incision through the abdominal wall and generally is followed by two or three days of hospitalization.

"If you asked our patient, she said it was like getting a tooth removed. She was walking that night and left the next day," Montgomery said."

Say Whatnow?

"The procedure is done by inserting 'wand-like cameras and tools' through small incisions in the abdomen and navel."

We're not following you...

"A kidney weighs approximately one pound and is roughly the size of a clenched hand."

So wait...you took the...and the kidney...but...patient...incision...what?

Our reaction can only be descibed as something along the lines of:


Mooooooooole.

"Oh Billy...

...sweet Billy Billy Billy Barou"

Lay it down, Billy


True Billy Mays.

(Un?)necessary Rap Wednesdays

It's De La Soul, From the Soul...

Straight outta 1994 Tommy Boy Records, here's De La slapping hard-core early 90's gangsta rap in the face with this parody jam sampling Al Hirt's cool jazz Harlem Hendoo, as well as laying out the sample for The Roots "Stay Cool" (both of which are quite tasty.

...just playin', here you go America)

Anywho, Enjoy:


Don't know what De La clowns better in this vid:

The hardcore screaming?

The Pool Parties?

Flipping Kool Kieth's (of Ultramagnetic MCs fame) lyrics of
"Switch up change my pitch up / Smack my b*$#h up like a pimp"

with

"Change my pitch up, smack my b*$#h up
....I never did it"

(and thus laying the groundwork for that Prodigy you know you like...
well...
ok niether do we.)

hmmm, hard to tell...

All we know is, you aren't livin' the life without a hat of Straight Cash, Homey


True Story.

(ps...you heard Plug One correctly at 1:30, he's "Somethin' Like a Phenomenon." LL, give dude some props next time, will ya?")

Up In Smoke

(Editor's late addition: This story might be the best part of the Super Bowl. Thank you AJ for showing us this. Things like this are the reason why we started this site. Wow.)

Oh Hey! True Story delivered the goods and predicted you a Super Bowl winner, America. We even got the score somewhat close. But besides that news, we're sure you've all heard about Michael Phelps caught doing this:




Good work, Michael. We're sure that will do a lot for your lung capacity, idiot. On the contrary, we are here to say that we all shouldn't freak out about celebs puffing the magic dragon. I mean, have you ever heard Phelps talk? If you have, this comes as no surprise or concern to anyone.

I mean, look at these lost photos of President Oballa in college from TIME magazine:



We are not sure what is in that cigarette he's puffing on, or what the deal is with that hat. All we know is that is quite simply the most badass picture ever taken.

True Story.

Super Bowl Preview

So we know what you're thinking: the person who they pick to win is going to lose the Super Bowl. After an abysmal sports prediction resume, True Story is just going to post this video of Lil Wayne interviewing celebrities in Tampa. We especially couldn't handle Kenny Mayne telling Weezy that he heard "Mrs. Officer" on Hot 93.7 in Hartford. For any of our friends in the Pioneer Valley or CT, this is hilarious. For everyone else, please enjoy Mayne butcher the chorus in front of a horrified Weezy. We didn't think anyone could horrify a person so used to horrifying others. Kudos, Kenny:


OK, fine:

Steelers 24 Cardinals 19

True Story?